divorce and children

IS THE FAMILY COURT FIT FOR PURPOSE?

Many couples involved in divorce or issues related to children would say very definitely “no”.  It can seem as though the “system” is against you.  The Courts are not really designed with people in mind; they are rather run by and for lawyers.  The individuals whose lives are being decided by the Judges rarely understand(…)

DO PARENTS FAIL TO SEE THE EFFECT OF DIVORCE ON THEIR CHILDREN?

A new report by Netmums suggests that separating parents are in denial about the effect of the divorce on their children.  Netmums, the parenting organisation, surveyed a thousand parents and a hundred children separately and concluded that parents see their divorce very differently from their children. According to the report: Almost a third of under(…)

CHILDREN IN CONFLICT

As you may be aware, it is not so much parental separation that causes problems for children but conflict they may see or experience between parents.  Conflict may not be obvious: silence can be a form of conflict which some children may be very sensitive to and affected by.  However difficult it may be for(…)

LOOKING FOR SOLUTIONS, NOT PROBLEMS

I was listening to a report of a series of experiments carried out to test how good radiographers were at identifying signs of cancer.  The participants were given x-rays and told to look for the usual signs which may indicate cancerous growths.  A small cartoon picture of a gorilla was added to the x-rays.  Not(…)

IF YOUR CHILDREN GET DIVORCED

Parents are increasingly having to get involved with their children’s divorce.  Perhaps it is one aspect of the recession that parents are needed, not just as a shoulder to cry on but to provide financial support.  This can take the form of paying the legal fees or more often lending money (perhaps that should be(…)

THE ETIQUETTE OF DIVORCE

It seems to me that there should be a guide on how to behave during a divorce, whether you are the couples themselves or their friends and families.  Everyone knows people who are separating or going through a divorce and it is usually a painful process for all concerned.  Although it is a common occurrence(…)

MANAGING EXPECTATIONS

Although it is only November, as soon as the clocks go back it seems that everyone is trying to get us to focus on Christmas.  Christmas can be a great family time of year, an excuse to take some time to visit friends and family, but equally it can be a dreadful time of financial(…)

A CHILD’S DILEMMA

I am reading a fascinating book at the moment – ‘The Science of Love and Betrayal’ by Robin Dunbar, it is all about why people fall in love, is there any scientific or logical reason for this, does it actually help the development of the human race? It appears not, we do not actually need(…)

THE MODERN MEDEA

Medea is a Greek Tragedy written by Euripides around about the 5th Century BC. It tells the tale of a wife scorned by her husband so enraged by her predicament that she takes revenge through their children. In her desire to hurt him she kills their children. Far fetched? Well, I have just been listening(…)

LEGISLATIVE CHANGES ABOUT CONTACT AND RESIDENCE?

Every so often we have a debate on parental rights about whether there should be an automatic assumption that both parents should play an equal role in their children’s lives if they separate or divorce.  The debate normally centres around the argument of whether or not the Courts have a bias in favour of the(…)

BACK TO SCHOOL – TIME FOR A CHANGE? DON’T FORGET THE KIDS

Divorce and Children Apart from the Olympics it’s been a pretty awful summer for many:- whether it be washed out summer fetes, no improvement in the economy (whatever that means!) or graduate unemployment, times have been difficult for some.  Thank goodness for the Olympics which gave us all something else to focus on. However back to(…)

10 WAYS TO AVOID A DIVORCE LAWYER – Part 1

1)   Marry the right person. This may sound obvious, but it is amazing how many people really do marry the wrong person, or fail to take sufficient time to make sure they make the right decision. Far better to try and ensure a correct decision than have to undo the wrong on later. Divorce is(…)

THE COST OF ‘FAIRNESS’

This blog was prompted by a lot of conversations recently about the concept of ‘fairness’. What is or can be ‘fair’ about divorce and the inevitable division of the family assets? Who decides what is fair and reasonable – well ultimately a Judge at the end of an expensive and sometime acrimonious legal process. Alternatively,(…)

CHANGING FAMILIES

We perhaps all know that the traditional nuclear family – mother, father and children that they have produced together, although possibly the “norm” is by no means the only concept of “family” which society recognises. With the increasing recognition of same sex relationships, other family arrangements are made and it follows too that when these(…)